all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
