remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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