Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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