On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
