i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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