I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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