my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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