When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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