the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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