I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
