My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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