what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
