I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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