How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
