uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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