Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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