"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
