I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The ass gains better be worth it
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