He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
