Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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