i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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