I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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