so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so let's talk penis.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
