finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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