? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
