just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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