You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
