I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
