the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
