I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
