I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
