We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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