look no pants
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize