I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
