Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
