can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
