Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
