Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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