...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
