you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
