So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
