everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
