I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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