im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
