I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I woke up under a house in Key West
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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