I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
