He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
