I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
