If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
