he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
