my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
