sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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