There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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