I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just want nice things and good sex
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I did not marry a roomba.
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