we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
