idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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