Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
