This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
