That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
