No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
