Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
