If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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